As each month passes by and it is still just Thomas and I, I am amazed by the process of bringing a little one into this world. When you embark on the adventure of trying to have kids, there are so many different stories from everyone who has gone through this adventure. One friend was pregnant 2 months after they started trying. Another friend decided to adopt and they had a baby the same weekend they filled out paper work. One friend tried for 3 years and went through multiple miscarriages and finally had a little one. And yet another friend was not even trying and they found out they were pregnant. And another friend went through in vitro with little hope and walked away with 2 precious little ones. Another friend tried for more years then I can count to adopt and was unsuccessful and still childless. Each one of these stories continue to have hope.
This is what I have discovered. It is all in God’s precious timing. I know I wrote a post on my birthday this year and touched on this, but at that time only 6 months of trying for a kid had passed. It has now been well over a year and I love how much God has changed our hearts. I am not sad each month when I realize that there is not yet a little one growing inside of me, I am thankful for another month that Thomas and I get to go on uncomplicated adventures with full nights of sleep (every parent can remember those times). I love that I have a complete understanding that we will have a kid all in God’s timing. But during this time I have recognized 2 things. There is so much to learn, and there are so many people who go through so much to join the elite parenthood club.
I have learned more about trying to get pregnant then I thought possible. I mean we all know how the birds and the bees work, but what most people don’t know is that in reality there is a perfect 4-6 hour window once a month. And there is no possible way to pin point that window. Folks that is only 48-72 hours a year. That is really so little time. When I think about it that way and I see so many babies conceived accidentally, I see God wanting every single one of those babies here on earth. It is a miracle.
You also learn a ton about your body. I have become one of those women. I have literately taken my temperature every day for the past 8 months. I have peed on more sticks then I ever thought I would. I can actually pinpoint with my temperature drop each day that I know I am not pregnant each month. And this is what I have learned. There is nothing I can do to create the miracle of a child living inside of me. It is all God. But I am not alone.
There are so many women out there who have walked this road. And so many of them want to talk about their experiences. It is a way to connect and unless you have walked that road, it is not easy to understand. I love that I have happened upon this group of people. And no, it is not only the women. I know men who are in Thomas’ shoes. And yet we walk together. Knowing more about our bodies, and more about the miracle of just relaxing and letting go. Little baby Kucera will come in God’s time.
So as I press forward, I realize that my time is precious and I get to love on those around me with time I will not have when I have a little one running around. I get to connect with people in a way I never thought possible about what road to take next. And we get to decide what is right for us. Do we try naturally for a few more years and allow nature to take its course? Do we research every possible avenue and set a game plan in stone? The joy is the ability to change our minds and go with what we feel God is leading us to do.
I love the stories so many of you responded with my last post. You truly touched my heart. Although I love getting my thoughts out there, all of your responses are what make it worth it.