I heard about this challenge about a month ago and I loved the idea of it immediately. I know of people that are blogging their “real’s” every day and others who are posting their “real’s” on facebook. I think it is an incredible idea to dig down deep every once in a while and really examine the REAL you.
Although I am willing to blog about many things, even many personal things about where I am at in life, I am not really ready for the whole world to know my deepest darkest struggles. For me, I think that there is a time and a place to share those things. Maybe it’s pride or the need to protect myself from unsafe people. Regardless, I am just not there yet.
So I have been doing my 30 Days of Real or 30dor to shorten it, with a sweet friend. For me, it is a perfectly safe place where I get to deepen a friendship, create an accountability partner, and dig in deep to acknowledge the truth of who I am deep down.
Do you want to know what I am learning?
First off, it is harder for me to hear my friend’s struggles then share my own. They are deep down struggles that make me want to laugh or cry, and hug her every time. I forget that the people that I live life with every day are struggling with the deep down hard parts just like I do. Whether they think about those things every day, or just every once in a while when they are challenged like me, they still struggle. With their cheerful smiles and their “live life” attitudes on the outside, it is hard to remember that.
Second, I am broken. Although 90% of the time I am incredibly cheerful and I love life, I still have the very core of my nature that is broken. And I need Jesus. No two ways about it. I cannot do this world without Him. Even with Him cheering me on, giving me support, and being my everything, it is still to hard to do without Him.
Third, some struggles stay the same and some change. It will be interesting to see if I make this an annual thing, or just a onetime thing. But I cannot wait to look back in 5 years and see what God has changed in me. His plans for me are ALWAYS better then my own. And more adventuresome too ironically!
I know I am only on day 11. And I was writing down things here and there for days that I got stuck, but I erased that list and am just winging it. Here is to 19 more days of real raw truth.