Thursday, October 18, 2012

To Change or Not to Change... That is the Question

Lately my life has taken the path of possible change and yet it is completely stable. After finishing my masters in December, the next step on our list was to start a family. With that all in God’s hands and clearly not happening according to my version of the schedule J I have truly enjoyed relaxing in life and having no major life plans. But in the life of a compulsive planner that only last so long.

One of the things I loved about the military is that they would move you every couple of years. It is the adventurer in me that loves the opportunity to explore new places in life. As I watch both my mom and my older sister move to different states I get a little antsy wondering if we will get to go somewhere soon too? But at the same time I have realized that in the last 5 years in WA Thomas and I have become a part of a wonderful community. That is truly something I don’t want to leave. Ever. Because although college was one of my favorite times in life, I know if I were to go back it would not be the same. However, sometimes God calls us other places. Is this one of those times? Do we want it to be one of those times?

And although I love the people and my job at Boeing, where I get to organize and check completed things off of a list on a daily basis, I would eventually love to work in a job where I am helping people at some point in my life. My goal when I started my schooling again 4 years ago was to eventually work through University of Puget Sound to get my School Counseling Certification after Thomas and I had kids. The other day I had a conversation with a gal Robyn, from my church, who works as a Child Life Specialist in a hospital setting. Come to find out, with my schooling, if I passed the Child Life Specialist Certificate I would be able to pursue a job with the current schooling I already have. Hmmm... maybe?!?!?

Not that I don’t love my life and where we are at. I love that we both have stable jobs that are good. I love that we have a beautiful home and great cars. Again I love our community that has surrounded us with love. I love my little sewing business and the joy in watching where God takes it. I love every day that Thomas and I get to enjoy just the 2 of us before our life radically changes as parents. I love Tacoma and Washington including the weather and the outdoors. I am completely content with where we are in life, but I still can’t help but plan.

As I have been pondering so many things the last month, I continue to remind myself that it is all in God’s hands. He knows the exact timing in Thomas and my life when we will bring a new life into the world. He knows my passions for learning and working with people and that Robyn and I would have the conversation about being a Child Life Specialist. He knows Thomas’ desires to work in a job that is satisfying on a daily basis. He knows where He wants us to live so that we can touch lives and love people in a way that they will see Him through our actions. And in all of it, He knows my planning tendencies that He has instilled in me and how although I cannot control so many aspects, I can still hope for the future and what is next in our lives.

And meanwhile He chuckles because He sees how awesome His plans for us are and how completely different they are from anything I can possibly hope or imagine.

Jeremiah 29:11