The other day I was texting a friend of mine and can I just tell you how awesome it is to have friends that you can text random questions too and they answer without the “why?” question? Cause let me tell you, I always ask why. But this sweet friend did not. So when I asked her, “what are your hopes and dreams in life? Your bucket list?” I got some beautiful answers. And they made me love her more because I got to know her deeper.
But what really got me was the next day when she asked me back, “what are your hopes and dreams?” Man. It felt like a trick question. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have given you my huge list. In fact, back in 2013 I wrote my bucket list out for you all. But now?
Now all I want is to live a simple life. A simple life where I love the people around me the best way I know how. Like Jesus. I want to have some children whom I love and who I can teach to love and serve. And I still want to travel. I want to travel and take my children to places where they can see that people are in need. But ultimately? I just want to love the people around me.
It feels nice to get rid of that list. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to visit Greece, visit the Amish, and go sky diving, but if I die before that happens? That is just fine. Because I want to live well. I want to not be the mom who is so busy she doesn’t have time for her kids unless it is scheduled.
I am still figuring out how to live an unscheduled life and not feel like it is wasted, but I can actually do things last minute. I haven’t been able to do that since high school. And it feels darn good.
Really I can thank In Vitro for that. Having months where you cannot schedule anything has been amazing. I guess you can say that what God has taught me through IVF has not only been patience and His timing, but also how to slow down.
And for that I am thankful.
So, so thankful.