Tuesday, July 16, 2013

R.O.U.S Incident

One thing that I cannot stand in life is rats. Or mice. Or any rodent really. I don’t think hamsters or guinea pigs or any of those little “pets” are cute. They are disgusting. Possums are right up there.

In fact, I hated the movie Princess Bride because of the R.O.U.S.’s in it.
According to Urban Dictionary, this is the definition:

Rodents of Unusual Size, from the 1987 movie, The Princess Bride. They are known to attack in the Fire Swamp.
-After Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand-

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

-Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him- 

So stinking gross!
I know most people love that movie, but I hated it because of the giant rat like creatures. (ok I know they were people in costumes, but still! Use your imagination! Giant Rats!)

Needless to say, this morning was not a way I ever, EVER want to start my day again.

Thomas went into our pantry (which is simply shelves at the top of our stairs down to our basement) as he started to make breakfast. I heard him call out, “Mica, do NOT come in here!” in a very serious tone. So of course I have to walk in that general direction and I see him grab one of our pots with a lid and go back into the pantry. When he saw me, he said, “Do not come over here.” So I asked if it was a rat or mouse and he gave the affirmative.

Gross. Not just gross, but gross nasty. I have a disease infested rodent living in my house.

I stood there in indecision for a few minutes because I didn’t want to even walk by that door. Because we all know, if they can get their nose through the crack, their whole body can follow. And if I saw a little nose, I might just freak out. When I mentioned that to Thomas, he looked at the crack and said, “It isn’t fitting through there.” What? There is a rat that huge living in my basement? WHAT?

My perfect world has been shattered. I can no longer ignore the fact that there are rats living on my property. And not just on my property, but in my living space. I always imagined that they just respected my territory and walked around my property to my neighbor’s when they had business elsewhere. I mean I thought they got the memo that I was extremely grossed out by them.

And by extremely, I mean extremely. When we looked into buying our house 4.5 years ago we had it inspected of course. Now we have an unfinished basement, but for all intensive purposes, it is livable. Concrete with a few spiders (which along with snakes don’t bother me) here and there, but it is not dirty. With the exception of one back corner. Our house has a breakfast nook that was an addition and under that addition there is the area we refer to as the wine cellar. It is the perfect place if cleaned up, to build one. And off of that little area, is a 6 ft x 6 ft true crawl space. And in the back corner of that little wall space, was a little rat that had died and stuck to the wall. Again, not ok. So I asked that it be written into the contract, that the rat be removed. The realtor, the inspector, and Thomas all laughed at me. But I didn’t care. There was a dead rat, and I would not buy the house until it was gone.

And now I have to move. No joke. Anyone want to buy our house and move in quickly? There happens to be another house we just saw that we love that is for sale. Anyone? It comes completely furnished as is. Because I don’t want any of my stuff anymore either.